If you are a Christian interested in dating in the West, Laura Grace Robins should be on your required reading list. She puts Haley’s Halo to shame. She is actually successful at life.
She has a core femininity and classical mind whose combination is incredibly rare among Western females. Even more improbably, she is Game-friendly.
This post of hers reflects many of my own thoughts on a favorite topic, the applicability of The Dog Whisperer to life and Game: http://www.inmalafide.com/blog/2010/06/29/the-wife-whisperer/ . It apparently made huge waves in the blogosphere – and well it should!
I also highly recommend you read her latest post, which spurred this burst of enthusiasm: http://fullofgraceseasonedwithsalt.blogspot.com/2011/11/christian-manning-up.html
Some choice quotes:
It took me awhile to find a church where the young women were not in mini-skirts, with bra straps showing, and texting away on their cell phones. It took me awhile to find a women’s bible study where gossiping and men bashing did not occur regularly. The women in theses churches and groups were not even close to thinking about marrying, but about college, grad schools, and “fun” dating until they were established. They certainly met worldly standards of maturity and intelligence, but were lacking in more Christian attributes of humility and wisdom.
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Men do not think they need to pursue because Christian women have proven they do not have an issue biblically or otherwise to pursue something if they really, really want it. So, why is it different with men? They pursue with a passion careers, jobs, college, and even pastoral leadership, but when it comes to their dating life, they still have the old-fashioned notion that men are to do the pursuing. It just doesn’t add up and women can’t have it both ways. Either you are a pursuer and take on college, career, men, and all your dreams or you meekly and quietly submit to the plans of the Lord and learn to be content in whether you go to college or not or whether a man pursues you or not. There is an attitude of submission that still survives the modern church, but only when it comes to being pursued in dating. Before dating and I suspect after dating, in marriage, a modern Christian woman’s attitude reverts back to pursuer/conqueror/leader.
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If women were truly eager to embrace wife and mother roles, they would have been serious about it at a young age, more serious than they were about their graduate program.
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There really is no sympathy here for the man who really is down on his luck, for the man who is struggling for identity in a struggling economy, which I believe makes up the majority of these alleged unambitious men. I wonder what would be the advice to a Christian woman who is dating or wants to date a young man who is going through a tough time. Is it “avoid them like the plaque” until you find Mr. Perfect (who can then later loose it all or his job in an instant) or can a lesson be learned that if you want to be a “helpmate” in marriage it may involve helping your mate in a “down-on-his-luck” situation.
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If he fails to “lead a conversation”, to have the right level of “intellectual depth”, to “pray with the kids” and especially if he “fails to provide”, what will happen to those men, who cannot meet or sometimes come in short with Christian women expectations? Are young women equipped to deal with a less than perfect man or will they shame him or divorce him when he isn’t?
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Yes, men, take initiative in a feminized church, in a feminized work place, and with less than feminized women!*
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“Godly ambition” may come if women start to show “godly submission”, but as long as Christian women are out chasing worldly pursuits, pursuing degrees and fancy careers, there leaves little room for men to show ambition as the women are doing it for them.
Laura’s writing is beautiful and reflects a beauty of spirit.
As one would expect, there are fools in her comment section who turn violently against her for saying the truth, as swine will do when pearls are strewn before them.
During the years I journeyed through the American church with my mind on dating, it was for this spirit that I searched, and found it rarely.
To have the surface is one thing. These are the girls who consciously reject feminist ideology, and replace it with patriarchal ideology.
But for it to penetrate all the way to the core is an extremely rare accomplishment. Indeed, it usually seems to be beyond conscious control. The ones who most genuinely embodied it came from a different culture, the East Asian churches, where femininity proceeded from the core outward, rather than having to be a countercultural exercise of mind and will.
The very force required for such a radical break seems to undermine the probability of its success. The best results come from girls raised in environments free from toxic influences, rather than those trained to resist them.
Fathers, beware.